Funny Story

Somehow
I was under the impression
that if I came up with all this clever shit to say
on somebody’s stage somewhere
You’d suddenly wake up from your deep-seated denial
And realize what you been missin’

Like
You’d sense my sensibility and come runnin’

Like
You don’t mean it when you say
“the wireless caller you are trying to reach
has a voice mail box that has not been set up…”
…you don’t mean that…

Like
If I say it clearly enough
With enough emphasis
If I enunciate in front of enough people who are not you
Eventually my words would start to glow in the moonlight
And you’d manifest
No longer able to resist the pull
Of my awesomeness

But — recently
With all this free time I have
I’ve been reading through all the fantastic sap
I’ve bestowed upon you over the years
As diligently as prayers
And it occurred to me
I needed to pump the breaks
Pulled back
Took the next left
And parked it at epiphany

Got out and looked back that what carried me to this pitiful place
My jolly rancher green jalopy – runnin’ on fumes
My sweet chariot to a place called clarity
Where I’ve taken up residence
Until I can find a ride back to good

But nothing in this life is free
And rent is due tonight
And these are the last of my words I can afford to give you
So listen carefully

I
Am not a fool
I get it
because
I
Am an appropriately educated
Level headed
Resourceful
Sane-ish
Beautiful young woman
I’m good at what I do
I enjoy it
And if left to my own devices
Dammit I’m happy
I can be flighty
Moody
And quite silly at times
But I am not a fool

Oh I get it…
I just don’t want it